It seems strange to the outsider that so many bright, talented, creative people are recovering alcoholics, addicts and co-dependents, and that so many potentially creative geniuses have their lives stunted or cut short entirely by untreated alcoholism. What is it about the peace and serenity of sobriety that leads to the survival and even the flowering of an outpouring of loving, creative spirit? At least part of the answer is to be found in personal discipline, not the discipline which connotes punishment, but the discipline of an artist who has a limited medium with which to create, a limited number of basic techniques and tools, and must work within these boundaries to create something no one has ever created before. With the exception of, say, the alcoholic’s inability to drink like "normal" people, alcoholism itself does not impose any other new boundaries, but it does make them more aware of all their human boundaries each and every day, beginning with the most universal boundary of all—their own personal mortality. The addict is made aware each day that he or she has a disease they will bring with them to the grave. The artistic, creative process has to do with the creative tension that occurs when we stretch the use of our tools and techniques to the very edge of our boundaries. Whether it is a Bach fugue, a Picasso still life, or a classic performance of King Lear, each artist strives to stretch creation to the edges of the external and internal boundaries. The 10th Step provides us an opportunity to become more aware of our tools, techniques and boundaries each day, and it is an opportunity for us to tap the resource of artistic discipline to enrich the quality of our sobriety. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Step—10.

A regularly-disciplined personal inventory helps us to be more aware of our boundaries, our limitations, and the danger zones we must avoid. By this point we are aware of our danger zones, our character defects, which can emotionally hook us, the "magic buttons" which can destroy our peace of mind and serenity. These are our personal boundaries, and our inventory keeps us aware of when we come too close to our boundaries for safety. But our inventory also helps us to be more aware of the creative gifts we can marshal to fashion a serene life of beauty for ourselves, our talents and gifts, the tools and techniques of our art. The 10th Step is our "reality check" to help us stay centered and focused on who we are as our Higher Power's exalted creation and beloved companion and child. As we create a more loving and beautiful life through the tools of our spiritual healing we offer our art as our lives back to that Power, our Creator, as an expression of our love and gratitude for the gift of sobriety, healing, and life itself. One definition of art is the process of bringing order out of chaos, just as an artist takes a pile of disorderly materials and creates a thing of meaning by imposing discipline and order. The 10th Step is one of the tools of recovery which enable us to take the disorderly chaos of our shattered lives and submit them for healing, that the Transcendent Power may give them order and thus create a life with meaning, purpose and beauty.

The 10th Step is essentially an extension and a practical application of the basic premise underlying the 1st Step. The premise is that we can only experience unmanageable feelings about anything if we have in some way set ourselves up to experience them. In Bill Wilson's commentary on the 10th Step in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions he restates this idea by saying "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." This is a very succinct, precise way of saying the very same thing that is said by the 1st Step, and by our therapists who tell us "you cannot be a victim unless you make yourself one." The 10th Step inventory lets us ask the question of ourselves, "in what ways today have I felt victimized? unmanageable? anxious? ill at ease?" The inventory also coaxes us to ask ourselves "in what situations today did I feel confident? worthy? loving? lovable?" More importantly, the questions we ask ourselves in our lOth Step inventory allow us to delve into the feelings and beliefs that we express through our behavior that are at the heart of our spiritual healing process. We can ask ourselves the question, "what feelings and beliefs motivated my perceived failure or perceived success today?" At this point, since we will have very carefully defined the specific areas of healing for which we need to pray and the specific areas of growth for which we want to express gratitude, our 10th Step inventory will naturally merge into our daily practice of prayer and meditation.

The 10th Step, while ideally a daily tool, may be used at any interval of time -- monthly, biweekly, weekly, or daily. But it is important to choose an interval which we feel we will be able to successfully keep. It is better to choose an amply-long period of time in the beginning than to choose a shorter one and feel defeated when we cannot keep our commitment. The interval can be changed later on after we feel comfortable with the discipline.

The so-called "spot check inventory" may be used at any time as a damage-control tactic. When we feel ourselves in danger a quick inventory can help us get back on track and help us steer clear of the danger. But the emergency spot check inventory does not take the place of a regularly-disciplined 10th Step inventory. The full value of the 10th Step lies in its inherent discipline, its regular use. A work lesson form will be found at the end of this chapter. Note its similarity to the 4th Step inventory, but its use is very different. First, behaviors and feelings are noted in one column as "Situations or feelings." At this stage of our Step work we can probably see the logical connection between a situation and its underlying belief without the intervening steps. Second, the situations and feelings we list on our 10th Step inventory will include all that come to our memory, both pleasant and unpleasant.

Since the 4th Step inventory was primarily diagnostic and corrective it quite naturally emphasized our spiritual pathology rather than our spiritual health. The 10th Step looks at both strengths and weaknesses in a balanced way. Also, the 10th Step inventory offers a different perspective, a different viewpoint from that gained from a 4th Step inventory. The 4th Step instrument offers a dynamic picture over a long period of time, much like a motion picture, whereas the 10th Step inventory offers a static one-day image, more like a still frame picture.

For those who prefer it, a simple journal format may be ideal. Other forms may be used and at times they may be alternated.

After working the 10th Step for a period of time, some important realizations will emerge. Our patterns of disease symptoms will become clearer, sometimes to the point of predictability. Our spiritual growth will be clearly discernable. The 10th Step inventory over time yields a dynamically changing picture of a human being in the process of being healed, in the process of becoming that which our Higher Power created us to be. The result is the portrait of an artist in the process of becoming whole.